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On being mortal
Jun. 11th, 2012 09:48 amWell, I'm 60 now, and a generous estimate puts me at well over 60% of life expectancy.The phrase 'all downhill from here' springs to mind. About a year ago, Lindsay, someone I've known since we were both five, let me know she was battling breast cancer. Today I found out the cancer won. Lindsay and I were playmates, in the same 'secret gang'. We would sit in her tree-house with our other two gang members, and figure out important things like breaking codes and how to follow suspects without being noticed so we could solve mysteries. We knew all the same people; went to the same primary school until age 11, then transferred to the same high school where we were in the same stream until we left to go our separate ways to different colleges. We lost touch fairly quickly after that, but heard each other's news from time to time through mutual friends, then a couple of years ago, were reunited by Facebook. I never got around to visiting Wales where she lived with her children. It was on the 'to do' list. It seemed like there was plenty of time.
Then there's Alan. A quirky, intense guy I knew at high school. He and I were both 'odd ducks' - unlikely friends really. Girls at school loved Alan; and I remember our first vacation together when we were both 16 - an older friend (18) drove us to Butlin's holiday camp at Minehead. This was an 'all-inclusive' holiday at an amusement park - very popular in Britain in the 60's. We shared a cabin, and on the second night we were there, Alan 'entertained' a young lady in our room, so I went for a VERY long walk on my own. Alan and I were the stars of our high-school production of Pygmalion the following year - he played Pickering to my Higgins. I have some old black and white pictures of us together on stage somewhere. We also lost touch after school, and re-connected four or five years ago through a mutual friend, and we kept in touch on Facebook. It turned out Alan is gay - I really should have known back at school, but he hid it well. After his college graduation he headed to Germany (he was a whiz at languages). He married (a woman) and had two children, then finally came out and married a German guy. They were together for many years. Three years ago, they built a house in Thailand for their retirement. Toward the end of 2011, he was diagnosed with cancer; at which point his husband left him alone in Thailand, saying he couldn't deal with the house or Alan, or their adopted (Thai) son. He's been in and out of hospital every since; his adopted son has returned to his home village, also unable to cope with the situation. I suspect Alan has not been easy to be around, but he's in a very desparate situation. I heard from him today and it seems the latest round of chemo did not work. He has a new boyfriend - a 28 year old local. Most likely just there for the place to live and some money, I have to hope he's also taking care of Alan. I'm glad he has someone with him now. He's asked if I'll go visit, and once again I'm putting it on the 'to do' list, knowing that such a trip would be expensive and probably won't happen.
I heard from my sister-in-law just now; she told me my brother (six years older than me) has decided not to attend any more of his school reunions; too many 'empty chairs and empty tables'.
Getting old sucks; but it beats the alternative.
Then there's Alan. A quirky, intense guy I knew at high school. He and I were both 'odd ducks' - unlikely friends really. Girls at school loved Alan; and I remember our first vacation together when we were both 16 - an older friend (18) drove us to Butlin's holiday camp at Minehead. This was an 'all-inclusive' holiday at an amusement park - very popular in Britain in the 60's. We shared a cabin, and on the second night we were there, Alan 'entertained' a young lady in our room, so I went for a VERY long walk on my own. Alan and I were the stars of our high-school production of Pygmalion the following year - he played Pickering to my Higgins. I have some old black and white pictures of us together on stage somewhere. We also lost touch after school, and re-connected four or five years ago through a mutual friend, and we kept in touch on Facebook. It turned out Alan is gay - I really should have known back at school, but he hid it well. After his college graduation he headed to Germany (he was a whiz at languages). He married (a woman) and had two children, then finally came out and married a German guy. They were together for many years. Three years ago, they built a house in Thailand for their retirement. Toward the end of 2011, he was diagnosed with cancer; at which point his husband left him alone in Thailand, saying he couldn't deal with the house or Alan, or their adopted (Thai) son. He's been in and out of hospital every since; his adopted son has returned to his home village, also unable to cope with the situation. I suspect Alan has not been easy to be around, but he's in a very desparate situation. I heard from him today and it seems the latest round of chemo did not work. He has a new boyfriend - a 28 year old local. Most likely just there for the place to live and some money, I have to hope he's also taking care of Alan. I'm glad he has someone with him now. He's asked if I'll go visit, and once again I'm putting it on the 'to do' list, knowing that such a trip would be expensive and probably won't happen.
I heard from my sister-in-law just now; she told me my brother (six years older than me) has decided not to attend any more of his school reunions; too many 'empty chairs and empty tables'.
Getting old sucks; but it beats the alternative.
